At Least My Toes Rock

Does anyone say "lame" anymore? If they don't, well then I'm really uncool.

I have completely gone frump this evening.

The day started out great - I cranked it out at the office. Really got stuff done. Before I knew it, it was 5:00 and I was outta there.

Then I stopped at my favorite salon-de-nails (okay, I really wanted to say that in Phillipino, but I have no idea how to do that) and had my precious tootsies and fingers freshened up. Great toe color this time - it looks like metallic merlot, but OPI called it something much more clever. Christina (yeah, like that's her real name) put my freshly polished toes into these flat bright purple flip-flops and I was on my way. Home, I thought.

But then I remembered that I wanted to stop by the liquor store to purchase a half-gallon of my friend E's favorite adult beverage that she can't buy in Pennsylvania. It was senior citizens night at the liquor store, so the place was loaded with shrivelled-up old farts utilizing their 10% discount. (Excuse me, if you make it to 65 why does that qualify a person for a discount? I swear, it's like a dare the store is throwing out there: if you are hooked on booze and can actually live to 65, we will front ya the extra 10%.) Anyhoo, I fwacked in on my purple flip-flops, minding my own biz when I heard little whispers coming from, count em, three little old peeps and felt the glare of their tri-foculs on my pretty lil feet. Funny, but I don't think they noticed my merlot-y nails. Geez, get a life, grandma.

I figured okay, since I've already been seen looking less-than-lovely, why not stop at the Walgreen's for a few items. Same thing there! Jimminy Cricket, stop staring at my shoes! Move it along, there's nothing to see here.

Throwing caution to the wind, I hit the quickie mart for a twelver of diet coke and good grief people - eyes UP, will ya? You'd think no one looking like trailer trash ever went to a 7-11!

I gave up on my other errands and headed home. I got CruiserDog fed. Then I got into a comfy tshirt, shorts and my new soft fuzzy robe and "proper" flip-flops. It's not much prettier, in fact the orange flip-flops are a little bright for the pastel yellow of the robe, but CruiserDog is colorblind, so it's okay.

Mmmm, hunger pangs. Make a salad? Grill a chicken boob? Nah - oatmeal. Yeah, oatmeal. In a plastic cup so I won't have to do a dish. Yeah, see I told you it would be lame.

I turned on my roommate aka "the telly" and sat down at the computer to catch up on some blogs. (Dammit y'all, this will take me all night to get caught up, you prolific things, you!) I didn't notice what channel the telly was tuned to, but soon found myself staring, open-mouthed at the wonder that is "Dancing with the Stars." Being too lazy to change the channel, I kept one eye on the telly and one eye on the computer. Before long, my eyes were doing this field goal thing and I had to choose. I tried to choose the blogs, but for goodness sakes, I think this trash has positioned a barbed hook right in my left cheek. (minds out of the gutters, boys) And it's soooooo bad! Uh-oh - here comes Sir Paul's ex - this could be entertaining. They're talking about her fake leg and stuff. Oh no, they aren't really thinking that thing could come OFF are they? That's it, they've hooked me, at least for the next few minutes.

Dammit. It didn't come off. And you just know the bookies in Vegas were taking bets on this, too. And she looked like hell. Who gave her that dress? It doesn't even deserve explanation except - uhhh.......no.

Turning back to my blogs, they announced Apollo Ono. Remember him from the Olympics? Man, that boy is c-ute! I never noticed that before. And he's brought it tonight. Okay, we can jump to the finals now, Mr. Producer.

Anyway - that's what's shakin' in CruiserMel's world. Jealous, are we?