My Little Neck O The Web

I know, I know - this has been done before by bloggers better than I, but it's Friday and I feel the need to blog, though I've got nuffin. So deal with it or step off, pal.

Ever since I've added sitemeter to my blog, I've been fascinated by how people stumble upon my little piece of the web. And from where! Sometimes, it's very straightforward and sometimes it's just weird. Gather 'round the campfire, my children, and let CruiserMel share.

Comfy? Good. What's that? No, I don't have any marshmallows. You should've brought your own.

*clearing throat*

Boys and girls, there once was a girl named CruiserMel. And she started reading a blog. And that led to reading another blog. And another. And so on. And so on. She felt like an outsider and in an attempt to nurture her inner writer (and because weird stuff just happens to her that people seem to find entertaining), she started her own blog. Little by little, a wee audience was born.

Oh I know who are my regulars, but occasionally I'll get a comment by someone who piques my curiousity. So, off to the sitemeter I go. Many times this commenter pops over from another blog (thanks, by the way - so flattering), but sometimes it's just plain twisted.

Here are a few of the recent searches that led people to my ramblings:

1. poop while drunk - okay what is up with this one? If you cannot poop when you are drunk, then you aren't doing it right. I'm not a doctor - get away from my blog.

2. paulina poreskova - I'm pretty sure I only mentioned her name once (in reference to being the wife of Car's singer Ric Ocasek). I've had at least 15 hits because of people Googling her. Surely, I am not the be all-end all of all articles about Mrs. Ocasek. Poor Paulina, she needs a press agent.

3. urban legend reverse parking - I think this one came from someone in England. Do they reverse park because they drive on the wrong side of the street? I had no idea Brits were so backward. Honestly, why would you ever think to put those four words together in one thought?

4. polished toes driving - You need to be contacting Ripley's Believe It Or Not if your toes are driving. That's a really neato-torpedo trick ya got there. It's a shame Ed Sullivan isn't alive; he'd be totally down with this. You could've even subbed for the plate-spinning Romanians occasionally. That would make great television!

5. zapps cracked pepper and sea salt - I believe this is in reference to the potato chips and I can't imagine why, oh why, anyone would be researching these tasty treats on the internet. Call me baffled. And now call me someone who has the muchies.

6. first kiss reaction - I feel for this person. He/she wants to see if he/she is normal. I'll let you in on a secret - if you're reading my blog, you are not normal. Sorry 'bout that. Google didn't disclose that before you clicked on my link.

7. rozerem advert, Abe Lincoln, spaceman, beaver - These hits seem to come mostly from overseas. And apparently they don't get it either. Funny story - there's some guy who writes a blog about advertising, in an educational manner, I guess for students of advertising. He wrote a lengthy piece about the Rozerem ads being brilliant, etc, and then shares the links of three articles/blogs that "don't get it." Mine was one of the three. I feel so immortal. The day I discovered this was better than winning an Academy Award, if I were to ever get one of those.

8. naked passengers overboard, galveston, cruiseship couple - this is the most recent frequent search that brings folks over here to my web, er lair. This story has really captured the attention of alot of people. It's probably not because it's newsworthy, but because they are just looking for an alternative to reading about Anna Nicole. And NO, I am NOT the woman who went overboard, nor was I naked at the time. Wait, that didn't come out right.

So that, children, is my excuse for a blog entry tonight. Lame, yes. Quite. I had no choice but to post something! I had to get that Sanjaya picture off the top of the page. It was just too disturbing.