Though my figure is eerily similar to the lady above (and by similar I mean short, waxy and grassy at times), I am sometimes hard-of-hearing as she is and I will be donning the ole coconut push-up bra in Kauai next month for Todd's 60th Bday Camporee (story to follow later), this is where the similarities end.
I am in a quandary and I need your advice.
I am a redhead by birth. I am white. Really white. I put the crack in cracker. And though I've spent years of attempting to defy the laws of Nature by basking in the sun, I have finally come to the realization that I will never be tanned, nor tall. At least not without the aid of a self-tanner and high heels.
Don't even try to tell me that tanning beds are the way to go, because I've been there and all that did was speed up the process of the sunburn and thus, the peel. Not pretty at all. And it makes my grass skirt cling.
Short of wearing pantyhose with sandals and I'm not decrepit YET, so I still have my dignity, this leaves me with the only other option remaining.
Sunless-tanners. Yes, that's the ticket.
I've found one that is designed to give a "gradual glow" in the form of a body lotion. It is also designed for fair maidens such as myself. I am nothing, if not realistic.
Here's the quandary: the directions specify that the product is best applied after exfoliation and that if applied daily, the glow will gradually glow darker until desired results are accomplished. But if I exfoliate daily, so as to apply the product daily, am I not just scrubbing off the previous day's glow?
And in case you're wondering...this entry is not just for entertainment's sake, nor is it just so that I can have something to post - I'm completely at a loss here. Ladies (and metrosexuals) - help me out. I need your best advice about this stuff and I need it pronto.