The Last BTJ Story

I sneaked out of town on y'all over the weekend for a quick jaunt to Vegas. It was a whirlwind and it has kicked. my. butt. Seriously, I look like someone with narcolepsy, head-a-bobbing even though I've been home for 48 hours. I will certainly do a post about my trip in the coming days, so stay tuned. I want to be sharp and hopefully funny. For a change.

Meanwhile, there's been a Boy Toy story brewing. I haven't really mentioned him of late because I must have sensed that my feelings were changing or something was afoot. Or both. But there was a proverbial straw that broke my friggin' back and we are now past tense.

Get a load of this, will ya?

So, yesterday I took a few bills to work with me that I needed to pay, right? I opened my MasterCard bill and saw that it was one of my bigger ones - with a couple of airline flights, three hotel stays, and multiple restaurant visits along with the usual grocery and gasoline listings. Oh and a nifty DVD/VHS dealio I got for my mother.

For some reason, I noticed some charges to companies I don't do business with, including an electric company that somehow I had heard of before but couldn't place it, a satellite dish company (not my own), and a car payment to a dealership here in Dallas. Last I checked, I've never had a car payment. Hmmmmm.

I called to see what was shakin' and lo and behold, someone had paid their bills with my credit card. From my computer. In the middle of the night. Uh-huh. I may be a blogger extraordinaire (not), but I am old school when it comes to my money and I don't do my banking or bill-paying online, so this pricked up my ears.

I began to put the pieces together in my head. These charges were made to my account on a Sunday morning in the wee hours. I checked my calendar. I'd been out with BTJ the night before, for a night of drinking and live music and I recalled that on that particular night, I'd taken to my bed while he worked on his website on my computer in the kitchen. My purse gets thrown on the kitchen counter every time I get home.

*LIGHT BULB*

Yeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaah. He had helped himself to the contents of my purse and took it upon himself to pay some bills with the CruiserCard.

I contacted my card company and have started the process of disputing the charges and have cancelled the account. I'm responsible that way.

But I'm also a redhead and my blood began to boil. I had "Bad Bad Leroy Brown" rolling around in my head all day as I devised my plan.

We had a date last night to have dinner together. It had been several days since we'd seen each other and he was feeling amorous. Little did he know......Hell truly hath no fury like a woman whose purse has been violated.

I whored-up and looked amazing. I listened to tunes that psyche me up as I drove out to his place. We were all smoochy and cuddly during dinner.

All the while, I had my plan ready to pounce. And pounce I did.

After dinner I asked him what electric company he uses. When he answered, I pulled out a blown-up copy of my cc bill and pointed to the name and said "Oh, this one?" I thought his face would peel off his skull.

"Exactly how long did you think you'd get away with this?"

There was some quick verbal tap-dancing for a brief time until he suddenly turned the whole thing around on me. On me!

"I knew this would bite me on the ass. I knew you wouldn't remember giving me your card number! You wrote it down on a yellow sticky note and told me to pay my bills."

Rrrriiiiiiight. Because that's so like me. And because I have a house-full of yellow sticky notes. NOT. (I don't even have yellow sticky notes at my office - I prefer the "neon" colors.) Try again, dude. On the other hand, don't even try.

I remember saying "this is the end" as I drove him home.

He had the nerve to ask as we turned into his driveway if we were still going to go to see my friend's band this Friday night. WHAT THE FUCK?

I don't know if stupidity is a valid reason for breaking up with someone, but it seems like a good enough reason for me.

On my way home, I was high as a kite on me. I felt like Helen Reddy and "hear me roar" and stuff. If I could've high-fived myself, I would've. It was strangely empowering. And I dug it.

Ladies, live and learn. I've certainly learned something here.

And I know this door was closed so that a window to someone really wonderful can open.