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Dallas, Texas, United States

Monday, February 04, 2008

I Felt Like Jessie's Girl

Here I am again, falling at your mercy for forgiveness. Frankly, even I wouldn't forgive me for being such an absent blogger. I am stripping my uniform of my blogger merit badge right here before you.

Now. Let's see if I can start working on getting it back. K?

Life here has been as stressful as can be. My muscles are pulled tighter than piano wire. Lots going on - nothing all that exciting, but it's lots, I tell ya.

So when Saturday rolled around and I had accomplished all of my to-do's, I decided to reward myself with a trip to Fort Worth's famous Billy Bob's Texas honky-tonk.

What? A rocker chick going to a honky-tonk, you may ask? Why yes, when it's filled with a bunch of pre-menopausal women screaming and swooning over one of my guilty pleasures - Mr. Rick Springfield!!!!

O. M. G. Where has he been hiding? Hubbada hubbada.

I don't know how old he is now, but my best guess is mid-50's. Lemme tell ya, it didn't show even a little bit. He was grindin' it out, smokin' on the guitar (did I know he actually played before?), and walking from tabletop to tabletop whilst women with hot flashes were pawing at his sweaty physique. He never missed a step.

Apparently, it's routine for women to bring tightly bundled long-stem roses to Mr. Springfield. He graciously accepts these bundles only to whirl around and strum the guitar strings with them. Rose petals flew like confetti in Times Square! It was pretty cool, but I would've been pissed if I'd spent that kind of dinero only to have it made into instant potpourri before my eyes. Oh well - by the looks of the faces of these women, it must be akin to an orgasm. Seriously.

Hell, even I got sucked into the frenzy when he stood on my table, a mere 12 inches away from me. I climbed up on my chair, reached forward and he grabbed both of my hands and sang something in my general direction. It was a mere 2.3 seconds, but long enough for me to get a good dose of his sweat on my paws. I seriously thought about licking him because isn't it true that if you lick something, it belongs to you? I thought it over and decided that I really didn't want him for my very own...I just wanted to borrow him. And there's no set rule about that.

What fun it was to revisit my youth for a couple of hours that night. I was so jacked up on the hormone surge when I got home that I kitchen danced until 4:00 in the AM.

Greatest. Feeling. Ever.


tdawg said...

I've heard those stories about that guy standing on the tables at his shows...so he still does that, eh?

And the kitchen dancing...you too? Especially fun with the dog(s)!


Sassy Blondie said...

OMG!! Cruiser...I LOVE me some Rick Springfield! I'm SO jealous!
I officially hate you now!

(Well, not really, but green with envy nonetheless)

tdawg said...

Heehee, I used to have a boss who looked JUST LIKE Rick Springfield! Or is that Dr. Noah Drake? Uh-oh, now I am showing my age!

CruiserMel said...

T - Aw, heck yeah - he walked all over that place from table to table. Women were losing their minds! And exactly what kind of fool are you for not staying at that company with Dr. Drake??? You deserve one of those thumps on the forehead like in the V-8 ads for that one.

Sassy - It was a last-minute thing, and I was so glad I went. Where do these "more mature" pop stars get their energy? He was on fire!