I Vant To Drrrrrink Your Blood

Happy Halloween, my friends!

Groovin' With The Gays

Hey, where ya been? Oh yeah, I'M the one who's been M.I.A.

I've been busy, my little chitlins. Busy, I tells ya! How do I know I've been busy?

1. Dishes piled up in the sink because the dishwasher needs to be emptied.

2. You should see my credit card bill. Oy vey.

No, I'm not all Todd, all the time. Sometimes, I'm not even some Todd, some of the time. Okay, I've got a Todd story awaiting a blog entry. Don't roll your eyes, they might stick like that.

Thursday night, I headed out to see a singer/songwriter I've come to love for the past few years - Jason Mraz. Have you given this guy a good listen? Not only does he have an unbelievable tenor thang going on, but he's one of the most gifted wordsmiths in music today. And he's really cute for a geek.

Yeah, you've heard of him. He had a hit a few years ago with The Remedy. ("Well, if you've gots the poison, I've gots the remedy...") Now he's got a full-blown monster on radio with his newest single "I'm Yours." Seeeeeeeee, I knew you'd know who I'm tawkin' about.

He played to a packed house Thursday night and I was fortunate to get me a third row perch, albeit near the bass speakers, but it was a good pain to carry for a couple of days afterwards.

Lemme tell you about Jason's fan base. I expected mostly 20-somethings, females, upper-middle, yuppie types. That's what I found. Mostly. But there were folks there of every make and model known to Man. I saw pre-pubescent girls, middle-aged couples, some goth freaks (or were those Halloween costumes?), several scruffy-looking musician types who looked like they'd kill to get their songs on Grey's Anatomy, and an entire row of "the gays" behind me.

Get off my case. They called themselves that when they apologized for singing every song at the top of their lungs into my ears. I could barely hear them over the bass, but it went something like this:

"Honeeeeeeeeeey, you should know bettah than to sit near the gays if you don't want a real show!"

Fine by me - that meant I could get my own groove on in an upright fashion and not piss anyone off behind me when Jason busted out with an oldie, but oh-so-goodie "Build Me Up, Buttercup."

Love those gays. I thought one of them was going to ask me to Carolina Shag with them for awhile, but they were paired up kinda cozy by then. Sigh.

Anyway - chalk this show up as a winner. Even if you're not a fan beforehand, you will be, my friend. You will be.

Bigfoot Gets A Pedicure

The point of a woman going to a spa or a salon is to get a little pampering, a chance to treat one's self, to have an "I'm worth it" moment.

Or so I thought until last Saturday when I went to grab that L'Oreal moment for myself.

I went for a mani/pedi combo package. Yes, the deluxe package, please.

The bubbling foot spa, the massaging lay-z-boy chair, the lotions and potions....I wanted it all. I leaned back, let the shiatsu take effect, turned on my ipod, closed my eyes and let the flurry of Vietnamese bees do their thang to my fingers and toezies.

It was heaven and my esteem was blooming like ragweed in the fall. I felt indulged and a peaceful smile came across my face.

At this point, I felt a tap on my arm. One of the bees wanted to ask me a question. I took the earbuds from one ear and gave her a look that said "Why, yes, I'll take a glass of wine."

Vietnamese Bee: "You want eyebrow waxing?"

CruiserMel: "Sure. I'm worth it." (figuring I'd make her happy and put an additional $10 in her pocket to send home to her 100 year old great-grandmother.)

Vietnamese Bee: "You get lip waxed, too." (not in a question form either)

CruiserMel: "Uh, no thanks." (Did that once. Hurt like hell.)

Vietnamese Bee: "You get lip wax."

CruiserMel: "No. Thank you."

She got one of those looks on her face, as if to say "Suit yourself. Look like a monster for all I care."

I closed my eyes and went back to my music.

Then the "L'Oreal moment" passed. What does she see that I don't in my 10x magnifying mirror? Mother of God, am I growing a beard?

What will I say if the guys in ZZ Top want me to audition for them?


Kids will mistake me for Santa at the mall!

What if they do a remake of The Addams Family and want me to be in it?

So much for "I'm worth it." I'm apparently Sasquatch. But I've got rockin' toes. Sorry Great-Grandmama.

Caption This Pic ...

... because I seriously have no words.

Assistance Please?

Hey, you beautiful reader(s) you. I am working on doing polls over at another blog and I need your assistance. See that little poll in the upper right corner? Can you please vote so I can see how this thing works? Won't take ya a second. Meanwhile, bear with me with these new changes.

Oh and Happy Monday to ya!

Da Blog Had A Facelift...Or Was It Just Botox?

First, Blogger forced us to change. I didn't groove on it at first, but it's grown on me and now that I finally got the hang of all of those changes, they've gone and made this whole thing more simple to manage.

My mistake? I believed them when they said I could do all this cool stuff to my little corner of cyberspace.

Don't get me wrong - it is easier. Well, it looks easier. And perhaps it will be, but I'm a creature of routine and this thing has scraped my last nerve across an electrified barbed-wire fence with an exposed canine root and I'm pissed.

I want my RundgrenRadio playah back. I also want my music playlist thingy back. There's prolly other stuff missing, too, but I'm too cross-eyed to figure it out anymore; not tonight. I guess I'll be spending some quality time with da blog over the next few days to get it back to how I liked it.

Meanwhile - anyone else upgraded? What do ya think?