Convinced Of The Conspiracy

I have a Romanian friend. His Americanized name is Chip. We met on a cruise where he was a casino dealer with a wicked sense of humor and damn good luck, seeing as how he ripped me off of several hundred dollars, if I may say so. We met while I was vacationing with my friend Linda in July. I offered "whenever you are in Dallas..." and you know the rest.

Being on a break between cruise contracts, Chip contacted me and said he'd like to see Dallas for a couple of days in mid-October. A weekend showing off my fair city sounded like fun. What he didn't mention was that he would be flying in on Sunday night. So much for the weekend idea. But I consider myself adaptable, so I rolled with it and took Monday off from work. But what to do on a Monday in Dallas?

First stop: Tex Mex. He'd stopped weekly in Cozumel (cruiseship, you remember) for 6 months, eaten dozens of quesadillas, but never tried sopapillas. Those pillows of sweet yumminess were like nectar to Chip. I've never seen a grown man slurp up all that honeyed goodness in public, until I had seen Chip with a plato de sopapillas in front of him. I was careful to keep my hands to myself. Sticky doesn't look good on CruiserMel. Sidenote: Chip took us to the Transylvania Restaurant in Cozumel. How cool is that? Eating Romanian food in Mexico. It doesn't get much weirder than that.

Then we went to a flag store to buy a Texas flag (and a US flag - yay!) and then it was onward to the place that made Dallas famous......the site where JFK was assassinated. Being a resident of Dallas all my life, I thought it might be a little dull, but at least it would fill an hour or so, until I could think of someplace else to take this almost-stranger. Au contraire (?) mon ami. We ambled around, while he was taking pics with his phone* and came across the coolest dude I've met in a long time. I didn't get his name, but he appears to be a permanent fixture at the Grassy Knoll. He's filled with juicy stories, photos, and....wait for it.....a DVD for a mere $20! We took the bait. Ya gotta give the dude credit - if he's making a living by ripping off the actual Sixth Floor Museum (the REAL museum) by grabbing people's attention before they make it to the door, then good for him. He had beautiful teeth too. I was jealous. I need to sell crap at the Knoll, I suppose.

Anyway, after listening to his monologue for about 15 minutes, we were firm believers that Oswald was not the lone shooter. Okay - so I've waffled on this subject since I knew anything about waffles, but I'm set-in-stone (get it? Oliver Stone? whatevs) about it now. So is Chip. As much as a Romanian casino dealer can be.

*I kept thinking we'd get hauled in by the HSA, not kidding. Here is this very eastern European-non-American-looking man, on foot, taking pictures with a cellphone of sixth floor windows, courthouses, and every skyscraper in downtown Dallas. Are you following me here? I counted myself lucky to not be party to a national incident. How would I explain that to my mother?

What are you doing still here? Off with yourself. Do something constructive, ya hear?