Homophobic Parking

Maybe it's a Texas thing, but I'm dubious. At least, I can say it's usually a pickup truck thing. It can be huge F-250's or wee Ford Rangers. Or Subaru Brats. (Yeah, they're still out there.)

Either way - I have a theory about these pickup truck drivers who insist upon parking in spaces nose-out, or backwards.

There can only be two reasons for parking this way. (1) You are robbing a bank and need to make a hasty getaway. (2) You are homophobic.....or are you in denial? Just sayin.

If it's No. 1, then you just go right ahead, idiot.

If it's No. 2, I have a bone to pick with you. What's with this stupid parking decision? If you have the time to back into a parking space, then you have the time to reverse after the parking job. Either way, you have to reverse at some point. Are you afraid of getting a banana in your tailpipe? Geez, that only happens in Eddie Murphy movies.....20 years ago. Ain't gonna happen now, dude.

So what happened in your upbringing to create this ourwardly aggressive behavior and are you aware that you aren't fooling anyone? Hey, if you had an unfortunate experience with your scoutmaster at cub scout camp, get therapy or come on out of the closet and stop bugging normal car-parkers like me.

I have enough on my mind than to worry about your phobias. Like maybe I need therapy to figure out why this bugs me so much.

Now - get out of my way, homophobe. Git!