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Dallas, Texas, United States

Friday, February 09, 2007

The Joys of Homeownership or The Neverending Parade of Repairmen

Once again, I took today off from work to await the return of Prince Charming. Well, two princes, actually. And by princes, I mean two men in uniform, who speak in heavily accented tongues and wear these really sexy utility belts, low-slung in such a way as to surely turn-on the women-folk left alone all day to their own devices in cavernous, scarey castles.

To my surprise, Arturo showed up punctually at 9:00 in the a.m., hoping to find CruiserMel in various states of undress. But alas, what Arturo found was a dishevelled and hungover redhead in sweatpants and Cat In The Hat bedroom slippers ready for action. And by action, I mean ready to get a new garage door installed following said hammer elbow incident a few weeks ago. Poor Arturo had a very cold job ahead of him - it was perhaps 40 degrees when he was banished to the outter regions of Castle de CruiserMel. Don't fret, dear hearts, CM wasn't completely heartless. I offered to make him a cup of coffee, but he declined as his desire for the lonely mademoiselle of the castle would surely delay the installation of said overhead door. So I sat in my family room and gazed at the manly Arturo through the window. And what a beautiful sight! I had to crane my neck to see past Arturo's physique and there it was - a glorious, well-oiled, louvered, and most-importantly WORKING garage door. It was so satisfying. So satiating. I almost had to shower afterwards. And before I could blink, Arturo was gone into the mist.

Before our maiden could catch her breath, Beau came a-callin'. Beau is pure southern charm wrapped up in baby-faced strapping maleness. His embroidered nametag glistened against his blue shirt in that gas station attendent from yesteryear way. He had a bag of tricks, too. A big black floppy bag. He called them tools, but I knew better. I led Beau to the furnace and stepped back to allow him to open the door. CruiserMel has been thinking a critter of large proportions has been stuck in there for a week now, rattling and rustling, surely stuck between two grinding parts of the furnace and I was going to let Beau be the man. Besides, if there was a critter, I wanted to be close enough to hop on the washing machine and let Beau slay the dragon. Bravely, Beau poked his upper torso and calloused hands into the closet for awhile and soon the rustling stopped. I wanted to wrap my legs around Beau and his tool bag, but hesitated when he said "Your stepladder was leaning against the furnace. No charge." And in an instant, Beau was gone like the wind. Ahh, my hero, I swooned.

Our fair maiden can now commence on her next home project: hiring painters to paint the exterior of the castle. Mmmmm, this could be fun.

20 comments:

Dezdmona said...

ROTFL...Such images when hungover???

Are you sure you weren't still inebreated?

Methinks it's been toooo long....

CruiserMel said...

Dez - Can you keep a secret? Come here. No, closer. Closer. That's it. *whispering* Some of this is called writers' license. Don't tell anyone, OK? I mean, how exciting can getting a new garage door be, huh? LOL

Tug said...

Fun times!! When you call the princes to come save the day, do you ensure they're single? Check the resume's, always check.

KP said...

You. Are. Cheating. On. GENE? OMG.

Williebee said...

"Ah have ahlways depended upon the kindness of strangers..."

Sgt said...

Yeah.. creative license. She made up the part about the slippers. She was actually barefoot.

RockDog said...

Sounds like a wild episode of Desparate Housewives starring CruiserMel! LOL! Funny post!

Steven Novak said...

Like guys with tool belts, huh?

Well...

Ummm...

Ahhhh who am I kidding...I don't even change my own oil. ;)

Steve~

CruiserMel said...

Tug - Hmm, single? Nah - I can covet my repairmen, married or single. It's just coveting.

KP - Hey, GutterBoy hasn't called in ages. I'll bet he's been peered at by many-a-housewife since then. I shudder to think of it.

Williebee - You big southern belle, you. BTW - feeling any better?

Sgt - No, I wasn't actually barefoot, but I did lie about which slippers I was wearing. I had on the elephants, not Cat in the Hat. I'd just forgotten.

Rockdog - That's me. Desperate Housewife, CruiserMel - the one they DON'T talk about on the show.

Steven - Hee hee, that's what Jiffy Lube is for, right? Wait - Jiffy. Lube. Wow, I never noticed the double entendre there. Yikes.

Williebee said...

remember a really cheezy song from when we were teenagers??

"Hey baby, I'm your telephone man. You can tell me where you want it and I'll put it where I can...."

Not implying anything... just askin'....?

CruiserMel said...

williebee - uh, no, you're way older than I am. LOL

Golightly said...

yum yum ;)

lostmymind said...

Your repair guys are waaaayyyyy better than the ones that show up here. The last repair guy that came by here was a roof repairman, and he had maybe two teeth, undecipherable stains on his t-shirt, and was in serious need of soap and water. But, he fixed the leak, so I didn't complain. I guess next time I should get a copy of the yellow pages you use to find repair guys!!

mist1 said...

I need Beau's phone number.

CruiserMel said...

Golightly - Well, the fantasy was yummy, but in reality, not so much.

Lostmymind - See what I said to Golightly.

Mist1 - 1-800-WHOA-BEAU!

starlet said...

shameless hussy!

CruiserMel said...

Starlet - Takes one to know one. Heh.

Boo Boo Kitty said...

LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT!!! I thought I was about to read a steamy romance novel..lol I am still laughing...God bless the Arturos in the world. lol

CruiserMel said...

Boo Boo - yeah, I agree. There are not enough Arturo's in the world.

Lindystar said...

"I wanted to wrap my legs around beau and his tool bag." OMG OMG ga-faw.

I finnaly checked out your blog, you are hilarious.

If your looking for manly men you can always go the free route and hang out in Home Depot or Lowes, and look clueless. Not that I ever did that when I was single. Nope, I'm just sayin.