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Dallas, Texas, United States

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Post-Op Pics


CruiserMel, blogger, a woman barely able to move her elbow following many cross-country treks in search of rock and roll and cute boys. Gentlemen, we can rebuild her, we have the technology. We have the capability to make the world's first bionic blogger, or at least one who can schlep her own luggage. CruiserMel will be that woman. Better than she was before. Better. Stronger. Faster. Funnier?


Yes, o ye faithful - I am making good on my promise to reveal photo documentation of my recent radial nerve release surgery. These pics are not for the very squeamish. Nay, not even really for the not-so-squeamish.


But you asked for it and ye shall receive. Here ya go, you sickos.


Here is my pre-op freckled and un-swollen elbow 8 days ago.....before Dr. McHottie got his lusty hands on me.


This photo shows what I've had to look at for the past 7 days. And it's been a miserable existence. Not being able to bend at the elbow has really cut into my drinking ability. Or maybe it's just the Vicodin that cut into my alcoholism. We may never know.

This is the foam cube thingy I have shared my bed with for the past 7 nights. We've grown quite fond of one another. He's squishy and snuggly and we can't keep our hands off of eachother. But we don't take it out in public. We're modest that way.

How'd this get in here? Oh yeah, I needed a cute boy to look at. Maybe you do, too since the ugliest of ugly is fast approaching.

And here's what Dr. McHottie did to me. Oh, the Versed was divine, but if I find out his home address, he's got some 'splainin' to do. My modeling career is over.

And that ladies and gentlemen, is what you've been clamoring for. Seriously, be careful what you wish for next time. I have a digital camera and I'm not afraid to use it.

Signed,

The Bionic Blogger









17 comments:

Just Sayin' said...

Ouch...

Seriously, all I can say is ouch...

CruiserMel said...

Told ya so.

mist1 said...

I hate to tell you this, but I think I slept with Mr. Foam once. We were drunk. It meant nothing to me. He didn't tell me about you or I never would have brought him home with me.

Incidentally, does he ever mention me?

Williebee said...

radial nerve???

Is that a poly or steel belted elbow?

Holy crap. I felt pain just looking at it.

Thanks.. now I need a towel.

tfg said...

At least the incisions didn't mess up your "Born to Kill" tattoo.

CruiserMel said...

Mist - No, he doesn't mention you. He knows how sensitive I can be. But he does seem to have a drinking problem. When I woke up this morning, he was across the room and on the floor. I'm sure I had nothing to do with that.

willie - a towel? This is a FAMILY blog, fella. Keep that to yourself.

tfg - You are so right. Luckily that's on my inner thigh. Whew, close one.

that girl said...

oh my. I TOTALLY need one of those foamy thingies. I would use it at restaurants, the movie theatre, hang my arm out the window with it....damn. the possibilities are endless.

so, selling it on ebay?

Swishy said...

Oh, my gosh, you poor thing ... but SO FUNNY!! My favorite part: "Not being able to bend at the elbow has really cut into my drinking ability. Or maybe it's just the Vicodin that cut into my alcoholism. We may never know." ha ha ha hahaha

CruiserMel said...

Yo, that girl, you might be onto something. I was seriously thinking of tossing "foamy" to the curb, or converting him into a cat-tree, but I think I should hang onto him and take him to the movies, so that no one will sit next to me. Ya know how it's so gross to have a stranger come and sit right next to ya? Eeeewwww. But, you'll be the first to know if I put him on ebay, just in case.

CruiserMel said...

Swishy - Yeah, funny until you consider the vast amounts of Vicodin and muscle relaxers I've taken over the past week. I'm not sure which vice is better.

tdawg said...

It hurts just looking at that last picture!

That foam cube is huge...at first I thought that it was a picture of you hugging your computer monitor!

T.

CruiserMel said...

Tdawg - Well, "Foamy" IS large and angular like a computer monitor and I really lust for his touch - but he's much more than that. He tells me I'm beautiful and smart and then he hogs all the covers and thinks that makes it all right. That son of a .... petroleum product!

tdawg said...

Oh, and I forgot to mention that wonderful tshirt in that picture with Foamy! :-))

CruiserMel said...

Tdawg - Oh my golly, I totally didn't realize I had that shirt on! Good catch! Also - you notice I named him "Foamy" like a certain green guitar owned by a certain TR, right? *wink*

Crystal said...

that is the sole reason God made straws.

although beers don't taste as good through a straw.

you'll need a funnel.

Tug said...

owie. Glad you made it through all right, AND they got the correct arm!!

Golightly said...

yikes and ouch!!