About Me

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Dallas, Texas, United States

Saturday, April 07, 2007

Twilight Sleep

hiya kiddos, it's me, the one-armed doped-up slug. please forgive the lack of proper spelling and punctuation, but typing was taught to me using both hands, not one, and old habits die hard. i know you asked for before and after pics, but since my arm is masked by a cast of some sort right now, it's rather dull. wouldn't you rather wait for the unveiling (and thus the gore)?

thought so.

let me tell you something.....gather 'round.....versed. (prounced ver-sed') versed is one of man's greatest inventions in the world of medicine. and my anesthesiologist, chris? he's the second greatest invention in the world of medicine. i love that man. i love him so much that i announced it to at least five nurses and doctors as they wheeled me into recovery wednesday, but only after i professed that my surgeon is the hottest doctor in the world - to his face. he said he would be sure to tell his wife, in case she didn't already know. honestly, he beats dr. mcdreamy hands down. did i mention that versed should be used to get info out of terrorists? it's that god. i mean good. hee.

unfortunately, they didn't send versed home with me. or chris or dr. mchottie, either. just vicodin, methocarbamol, and ketorolac. my new friends. they tend to make me throw up, but they've caused me to lose 6 pounds since tuesday, so they're allowed to stay.

the funniest part is this cube of foam rubber that i have to weave my arm through to keep my arm elevated. it reminds me of those robot people in the "i want my mtv" video from the 80's. it's huge and it laughs at me when i have to go to the bathroom. too bad there's no video for that because it should be on television, i'm sure. i'll try to get someone to take a picture of it (the cube) and post next week. it's just too hard to describe.

must sign off for now - time for a pill or two. heh.

oh, before i go - a big ole thanks to all of you who have been nice enough to drop by my little blog and give me tips on painkillers and/or your well-wishes. lucky for you, i'm not on versed right now because i'd profess your hotness in public for certain.

wait, you'd like that, wouldn't you?

thought so.


10 comments:

Williebee said...

hmm maybe versed could make sanjaya sound good.

Glad to see you up and heavily medicated. We could send some heavy machinery over. Scare the crap out of the neighbors? Let me know....

Dezdmona said...

Want me to come and take pix to share with the Brethren?

Hmmmmm....

I can feel your pain through your words...take more drugs Dear.

CruiserMel said...

Willie - Maybe versed is the problem with the voting on AI - you could be onto something. Perhaps someone has spiked the junior high girls' punch!

Dez - Yup, I'll need a photographer to get the whole essence of the foam cube thingy - but perhaps a real shower on my part would be in order first.

Lindystar said...

I want to see you on youtube in your foam arm thing doing the robot.

That is my request.

Congrats on discovering anorexia?
I'd usually say "Hey !! 6 lbs is 6 lbs !! But in your case I just sort of hope you stop puking soon. (although 6 lbs IS 6 lbs :)

Feel better, Lindy

RockDog said...

Glad to hear that you are up and about and not currently a menace to society... ;)

Take care!

Glaziersgirl said...

So sorry to hear about your "pinched nerve" dear...are you sure it wasn't from lifting one too many adult beverages? I know that always gets my elbow to aching. I hope you have a really speedy recovery sweetie.

Swishy said...

Hope you're feeling better ... your surgeon has to be VERY HOT to beat McDreamy!

Bev said...

Yep, it's true what they say: versed and alcohol will cause you to speak the truth.

Ok, I just made that up. Eager to see pictures.

ThatGirl7278 said...

I thought I'd say something funny when I was "under"... apparently, I just cried and said something sweet about my mom.

Pathetic, isn't it?

Crystal said...

i had surgery back in september and i fell in love with the anesthesiologist. i don't care what gender you are, if you have drugs that make me not feel someone slicing my eyes open, i will totally hook up with you.