A Very Good Day, Indeed

I was sitting at the office today, thinking of you, my sweetie-pies. Yes, not only do I work for a living, travel the world, love my CruiserDog, occasionally offer my yard to passing duck couples, and have a boy-toy, but I actually think of y'all. I know, I know.

I was feeling like it was time to post a new blog entry, but what would I write about, I asked myself. I could write that directly after posting the pictures from my most recent concert, I took to my bed with tonsillitis and my boss actually asked me "What are you, thirteen?" I could write about how I have to get up in front of a mess-o-neighbors tonight and present our neighborhood association's budget for 2007. I could write about boy-toy, J. I could write about how Jessica and John have broken up (FINALLY).

But none of that seemed too blog-worthy.

Then I got home and to my utter glee I found a couple of packages containing some swwwweeeeet bootleg copies of concerts done by T the G from a mini-tour he did on the east coast in early May, before heading out with The New Cars. This was a last-minute tour that included Jesse Gress, Tony Levin and John Montagna (not sure of the spelling), that if I'd known further in advance, I would've certainly cashed-in some miles and flown cross-country to witness. A rare treat, indeed for my east coast Toddhead friends. Lucky sons-of-guns.

I'm not exactly sure where these bootlegs actually start - but they are board recordings and they are clear and wonderful, full of lots of Todd on guitar, digging deep into his vast catalogue, and there's even some fantastically clever, typical Todd banter. Good stuff, I tell ya.

Toddheads are a sharing bunch. We believe in paying-it-forward. We don't trade stuff that could actually make Todd money, but if it's something that cannot be bought, it's fair game among the network of like-minded fabulous folks. Today I got a total of 5 shows on cds from my friends S in New York and S in California. (4 Todd shows and 1 Kasim solo show) All this for the price of sending out a couple of copies I had in my collection. And so it goes on down the line.

Toddheads rawk. And some even read this blog. So, if you recognize yourself here, I'm sending out a virtual CruiserHug to ya.

You Asked For It......

After receiving a few (okay 3) emails from some of my shy readers who refuse to leave their published comments and one special request by Sassy Blondie in the comments section, my arm is successfully twisted. To my surprise, y'all actually wanted to see more pictures of The New Cars show I saw last Friday night. There's not much more I like to do than talk about my Todd and his new role as lead of The New Cars, singing not only classic songs like "Hello Again," "My Best Friend's Girl," "Candy-O," "Moving In Stereo," along with more than I can possibly recall right this second, but they are also bringin' it on some new songs, written in the Cars' 80's style. So here you have it - ladies and gentlemen, The New Cars!!!

I love this picture of Todd in darkness with a single spotlight on him. I think he was singing "Drive" here, usually sung by Kasim when he's not off gallivanting in Europe with Meat Loaf.

Awwwwwww, this one's cool with the colored lights. Love me some Todd. Can ya guess?

This lefty is Elliot Easton - one of the original members from way back. After he broke his collarbone last summer in a close-shave bus incident, he actually played a couple of shows before they pulled the band off the road so he could have surgery. They hit the road again after a few weeks and he played like nothing had ever happened. Now, if only my elbow would bounce back that well....

If you've ever attended a sporting event (usually baseball), you have probably heard a song that goes "I don't want to work, I want to bang on the drum all day...." No, it wasn't a Cars song. Guess again. I'll wait. ...... It is a Todd song. Uh huh. This is the band playing it on ukuleles and conga, Hawaiian style.

Todd wails it a little later on in the show. Red is a good color on him, donchathink?

This is Atom Ellis, filling in for Kasim, quite well, thankyouverymuch. It's been said he looks quite a bit like original Cars member Benjamin Orr....and he does. Sorry the pic is so dark. As he said to me after the show "Yeah, I step in wherever I'm needed." ....and my mind went off to a dirty place.

Here is a laminated sign we got from a shuttle bus that moved people from the casino/hotel to the performance arena. It makes me mad that they air-brushed Kasim's image from the promo photo, but the least they could have done was photoshop Atom's picture into it. No worries, Atom did a quick scribble of himself, carefully avoiding where Prairie Prince had signed previously. Also - Todd's autograph is on the left side, but it's in ball-point - so you need to take my word for it.

I just realized I haven't posted any close-ups of Prairie Prince (drummer) or Greg Hawkes (keyboards), but let me brag here for a second - I was too close to the stage to see over the monitors, so my pics of them are weird. But they're in the pictures from the other day's posting.


And......this is my prized vintage handbill from a 1978 Utopia show in Austin. Yeah, I was just a kid then, but I had great taste in music. 1978 was when I first saw Todd live (at the Dallas show) with Kasim playing bass. And we know where that's led. Check out the ticket price: $6.00!!! The good ole days! When Todd was signing this, he said "I see Kasim's been here already". Yeah, catch up, Todd.



I think that's enough for y'all. Believe me, I could go on and on, but it might be akin to having to sit through hours of someone photos of their baby. You can thank me later.

Travel Ghoulies and The New Cars

Well, hiya! How was everyone's weekend? I missed you so!

Did anyone else suffer the travel ghoulies like CruiserMel did? Oh hell to the yeah, it's gotten to where I'm not even surprised anymore by my missteps in travel. It sometimes even gives me the giggles.

Friday morning came and I was almost too excited to be driving because I knew in 12 hours I would be seeing my Todd Rundgren with The New Cars. It had been since November since TNC had toured, and frankly not many expected they would tour ever again, after the lousy management last time around. But they've switched companies and perhaps they might get a little more PR in '07. I've had Todd up on a pedestal since I first heard him singing "Hello, It's Me" on my radio as a kid and though I've come close, I've never actually met him, but let's just say I was determined to change that, this time.

I should've taken heed in the fact that of the 4 of us who had bought our tickets together, two had to cancel. But CruiserMel was determined to make it to a place named Kinder, Louisiana at a casino, and L was still going to drive in from Houston and meet me there. So yay!

I dropped CruiserDog off at his Aunt CE's and hit the road. Then the A/C in the CruiserCar acted up - but I was still not daunted. Thirty miles outside of Dallas, I saw the flashing lights of one of Texas' finest. She wasn't stopping me for speeding, a broken taillight, or a dead body hanging out of the trunk. No, she stopped me for not having a front license plate. Lamelamelamelamelame. Wench. And I didn't mean to laugh when her trooper hat blew off and she had to chase it into a ditch. The giggles were about to give me a stitch in my side as I drove off with my written warning.

To add further stress to the situation, something was wrong with the starter on the car, so every time I stopped, I was faced with the question of "is there a rental car place or mechanic nearby?" It happened 3 times in the six-hour drive. But CruiserMel was still undaunted.

I got to the hotel, met up with L, whored-up, had a cocktail, and headed to dinner and the pavilion. It was showtime! And it was tons-o-fun! I found my way up to the stage and took some amazing photos, too. It was so much fun that I can't even think of a better word than "fun."

When the show ended - I insisted L & I go around back to see if we could find Todd and get some treasures signed by T the G.

I did not go all that way (again!) to just be happy with seeing Todd on the stage. I had a mission and had suffered that awful drive, so I deserved dessert, dammit.

First we saw Atom (the bass player who sits in for Kasim when he's with Meat Loaf) who graciously signed my stuff and visited for a little while. He looks amazingly like Benjamin Orr who was the original bassist for The Cars. Amazingly! When I'd seen him in November, I thought he was cute - but his hair's grown out and he's, well - whoa!

Then Prairie Prince came out and signed my stuff - and I think L got a little crush on PP, but shhhh, don't tell her I told you so. He was funny and charming and we were impressed that he was so humble, seeing as how he's played with the likes of Jefferson Starship and The Tubes, along with my Todd for so many years.

Then - there he was. Todd Rundgren. I didn't have time to get nervous, thankfully. He was all sweaty and wearing his "11" shirt from Spinal Tap. And he was very sweet and nice and it was a good visit. He signed my vintage Utopia handbill and upon seeing Kasim's autograph said "I see Kasim's already been here." (hee) Then some handler beotch came and hurried him along. Even he didn't look like he was ready to go to the hotel. *sigh* By then, CruiserMel was walking on air!

We met up with some folks I'd met in an online Todd forum at the bar in the casino. Great new friends! We exchanged some stories and before too long - here comes Atom and Prairie! Girrrrrrrl, I was out of my mind with glee when we found ourselves hangin' with da boys. And it even got better when Greg Hawkes (The Cars' original founding member / keyboardist) came in, ordered a martini and joined us. The only ones missing were Todd and the other guitarist, Elliott Easton. Pity for them.

That's Prairie, L, CruiserMel and Atom. Cute, huh? Ummm, hummm. *okay, J will never ever know about this blog, just sayin.*

This is Greg & CM. Fantastic man! The sounds he pioneered in the 80's with the keyboards still send shivers up my spine. And I told him so. He probably thinks I'm a nutball. And he would be right.

The next day, CruiserMel and L parted and I drove home with a wicked hangover and very little sleep. It was a beautiful drive through a wooded east Texas and I enjoyed seeing the little towns and Dairy Queens along the way, as opposed to the interstate highways I'd taken the day before.

But because state roads take longer, I missed watching Steve Nash that night. Whattadrag.

Oh well - there's always tonight!

So - what did I miss around here?

Talk About Shooting & Scoring! Wow!

I realize Todd Rundgren is an acquired taste. I'm no dummy. I know some folks won't even give him a listen, but at least you guys let me worship T the G occasionally here. I respect that and hope you respect my right to express my opinion on other stuff, too, no matter if you agree or disagree. Rodney King said it best: "Can't we all just get along?"

That being said, let me share with you what I've been watching for a few years that fascinates me to no end.

I don't fancy myself much of a sports girl, but I do happen to like car racing and the NBA.

Last night I was watching a playoff game - Phoenix Suns vs. San Antonio Spurs, to be specific. I'm not picking sides - so chill out my little San Antonio readers - because frankly I like both teams, but truth-be-told, if the Dallas Mavericks were still in the hunt, I'd be their biggest cheerleader. But that's for another year.

Trying to do some ironing while the game was on, before too long, I found myself enthralled by Steve Nash's playing as usual.


Have you seen this guy in action? He's like a little Energizer Bunny, if you can say 6'1" is little. Once you train your eye on #13, you will practically see contrails coming off Mr. MVP. He's all over the place! He hops. He ducks. He skips. He is amazing!

And kinda cute. Just my opinion.

Next game Saturday night. ABC. 7:00 pm central time.

Annnnnnnnnnd I'm outta here to go see The New Cars (natch with Toddly) Friday night, somewhere in Louisiana. And there will be a casino involved. And my friends S & L. I'm doomed. But what a way to go!

And I'll be home in time to see Steve Nash work his magic on Saturday, too! Bonus!

Happy early weekend y'all!

A Couple of Updates

Some of you may be wondering about my little duck couple. Well, they did indeed hang out at CruiserMel's house for a few days. Though I am totally grossed out by the mess they left in the yard (and so is CruiserDog), I found myself searching for my little fat feathered friends Saturday afternoon, when I couldn't find hide nor hair, nor feather, of them. And I never found them. It made me a little sad, honestly. I loved watching how they interacted. And how he would always have her back. Just so presh.

Okay, enough about ducks.

It's time for braggin' on the new guy, J. Um yeah, I'm still blushing over here. I find that funny for me to be like that. I guess it's just so refreshing to not have to listen to a bunch of life-draining hum-drum like "My day at work sucked, I hate it there" or "So let's talk about how crappy George Bush is doing." I hate that.

J is a very positive-thinking person. He leaves all negativity outside when he's talking to me. I mean, we've only dated a week or so, but other guys I've dated early-on seem to want to just have someone to vent to, and since I don't see a PhD behind my name, I don't really want to be that person so early. Am I wrong?

He actually talks about stuff he knows interests me. Like music, which tickles CruiserMel completely pink. (Oh come on, you didn't guess that I happen to live and die by music?) We have fun trying to convince eachother to the other "side" of popular music. He is more old-school hard rock and though my tastes range from 80's new wave and pop all the way up through current Grey's Anatomy-ish music, I left my hard rock days behind me in high school, where they belong in my opinion.

But I must say it makes for lively debate. And he's trying, really trying to be open-minded about some of my stuff. Like John Mayer. Completely on his own, he went online and got some of J-May's songs because he trusted my opinion (and telling him Johnnie is wicked on the guitar didn't hurt). Unfortunately, after giving 5 songs a listen, he wasn't convinced. But he gave it FIVE songs before he gave up! Oh well, you can't win 'em all. But he is diggin' The New Cars, with my beloved Todd manning the helm, and as you know, that is the way to my heart.

And you know what he did? He went to the Heaven & Hell concert Thursday night. I had no idea who that was, but apparently it's Ronnie James Dio (he's alive?) with the original members of Black Sabbath. He went alone, though he said he'd get me a ticket. No thanks. I would've been painfully miserable and would probably be found in the parking lot cutting myself with a broken beer bottle to avoid sitting through that. But here's the kicker: the guy was thinking of little ole me and bought me a tshirt. Have you priced tshirts at concerts lately? It's a really cool shirt too, and not the biker girl baby-doll tank top, because we all know that would've just ended up on CruiserDog after I sweetly said thank you while rolling my eyes into the back of my head in my mind. He's figured out my style in 3 dates? AND - he made me six, that's six mix cds of music he thinks I'd like. Not just what he likes, but what he thinks I'd like. "I wrote down the song names because I can tell you're a track girl." On the nosey! Some of it is actually very good and some not-so-much, but geez, what effort. Seriously adorable.

You're out there thinking "Cruiser, who the F have you been dating all your life that this all comes as a breath of fresh air?" And I would have to say to you, "Apparently guys that don't get me."

I offered up cooking dinner for him in exchange for hooking up a VHS to DVD recorder that was giving me fits. I mean, you know we girls don't have that gene. He came over and got horribly dusty crawling behind my armoire and untangling cords and got the mutha working. My hero. My duck. AND he liked my cooking and had seconds. (Of course, Central Market did the cooking, but hey, I was busy holding the flashlight and watching his backside as he worked electronic miracles. Heh.)

Now, if I can just not F this up. I wonder if Central Market gives a discount on buying ready-prepared meals in bulk.

*Sassy Blonde: Yes, he's got a brother, but he's taken. And doesn't live here anyway. Phooey.

We Won't Call It A Meme, Okay ThatGirl?

I was tagged by ThatGirl to complete this thing. I'm calling it a thing because she hates the word meme. Who could blame her? It's a weird word. Who the F made that up? It's silly. I'm not ever sure how to pronounce it.

So here's the thing:

A - Available or Single? Pretty much.
B - Best Friend? Several, just call me blessed.
C - Cake or Pie? Pie. Chocolate, lemon meringue, apple, pumpkin.....oh doesn't matter.
D - Drink of Choice? Diet Coke, with or without Weller.
E - Essential Item(s)? Photos, iPod, flat-iron, hair dryer.
F - Favorite Color? Green.
G - Gummi Bears or Worms? Never had a gummi anything, but I'd choose bears. Worms are gross.
H - Hometown? Dallas, Texas.
I - Indulgence? Airfare, concert tickets, cruises, blackjack, pizza, cds, single-malt scotch.
J - January or February? January, so I can get over the holidays.
K - Kids? Not that I'm aware of. Heh.
L - Life is incomplete without…music.
M - Marriage Date? No, I don't think I'd take a date to my marriage.
N - Number of Siblings? One, a terrific older brother.
O - Oranges or Apples? Apples served with cheese.
P - Phobias/Fears? Being murdered, flying.
Q - Favorite Quote? All the world's a stage and we are merely players. (or something like that)
R - Reasons to Smile? Friends, puppies, cute men, blogs, Fridays.
S - Season? Summertime.
T - Tag Three? Lindy, Dezdemona, Williebee -please? For me?
U - Unknown Fact About Me: I'm a fantastic housekeeper - the reason it's unknown is because it isn't true.
V - Vegetarian or Oppressor of Animals? I don't discriminate - I'll eat almost anything.
W - Worst habits? Drinking, smoking (shhhh, don't tell), taking naps, too much television
X - X-rays or Ultrasounds? Dental, elbow, shoulder, some female stuff you don't want to know about
Y - Your Favorite Foods: Pizza, patty melts, Tex-Mex, Triscuits, Wisconsin cheddar
Z - Zodiac: Cancer / Moon Child

ThatGirl, there ya have it, my San Antonio blog-buddy. Happy Weekend, everyone!

A Whole Mess-a-Sumptin

Oh, my dear chitlins, I'm so sorry to have worried all y'all. I got some very sweet email messages from some of you, concerned that yet another blogger had bit the dust. But not CruiserMel. I just nibbled at the dust a little bit. And I want you all to know that I'm feelin' y'all, really feelin' y'all. Thanks for the concern, but actually there was no reason to fret, sweetie-pies.

Let's see - what has kept me from da blog? Oh yeah - a guy. Let me write that again, because it just looks so great. A guy. Oooo, gives me shivers.

I'd actually forgotten that when I met him, I completely forgot to give him the wrong phone number, as per usual, and so imagine my surprise when J called me last week. My brain went all numb and asked itself: "Self? You gave your real number to a guy you met in a bar?" Um, yeah. But I remembered that he was really cute, at least in my buzzy state that night. So I decided to give it a whirl and was pleasantly surprised when yes, indeed, he IS really cute! Anyhoo, um yeah, I'm blushing. And I'm actually trying to keep an open mind about all the usual stuff that I seem to be able to find undesirable, such as: he doesn't drive exactly the kind of car I like, he's too hyper, he's too young (yeah, he's young!), he lives 30 minutes away, he lives in a apartment, he's divorced, he's got a kid, he likes heavier music than I do, he gets speeding tickets, blah blah blah. What's important is the guy seems to genuinely care about CruiserMel. Yikes.

Another reason I've been neglectful is what I've learned today was not my impending death, but rather an upper respiratory infection that kicked me to the curb on Monday and left me there to rot until this morning. I didn't even feel like reading your blogs, much less write on mine. Mucho apologies, my friends.

Yesterday as I was propped up on the sofa with CruiserDog watching CourtTV, something caught my eye in the backyard. At first I thought it was a squirrel, but CruiserDog lost his friggin' mind by barking so loudly that I had to investigate. Apparently, this is what goes on in my backyard during the workday.

WTF? I don't have a pool or live near a creek. I have no idea where they came from, but they waddled around the yard for a couple of hours. They let me get right up near them to feed them some bread. They followed a squirrel around like he was their friend. It was too weird. The guy let the little woman eat until she was as wide as she is long and he just stoicly looked around for predators. Isn't that the sweetest? I like a man who lets his woman eat like a pig. Come to think of it, they may have hung around that long because I'll bet she couldn't take flight with that load of cargo on those hips.

So that's about all I have for all y'all this time. I promise to post something in shorter time next time around. A week is way too long to be away from ya.

*smoochies to the guys* *hugs to the gals* Have a great one, whatever "one" that might be.

The Old Girl Shoots and Scores

I told you something wacky would happen to CruiserMel. Actually, wacky things happen all the time; it's just the state of mind and point of view that make things appear funny, strange, entertaining, or any of a myriad of adjectives, some of which constitute a mention in this here blog. And apparently my point of view changed during that little thing called R.E.M. sleep Tuesday night. For the better.

It was a beautiful day in Dallas, Wednesday. Birds were singing, the sky was blue, there was a slight breeze and CruiserMel woke up with a renewed sense of well being and purpose.

I was left alone most of the day at work, which surprisingly did not lead me to surf blogs, but rather to actually get some work done. I KNOW!

All was well at the orifice, um 'scuse me, that was supposed to say office, until the 20-yr old son of a coworker came in to do some filing and other sundry chores that we're too lazy to do. Don't get me wrong, this guy is a life-saver who helped me with some important input on the computer a day after I'd returned from surgery. His nimble fingers were just what I needed, since mine were still on Vicodin.

But Wednesday was different. He was still the polite and funny young guy who loves to talk to me about all things music. I always enjoy seeing D.

That is until he saw a picture on my computer of a band and asked who it was. I said it was The Cars. And then I knew what was coming next would either be: 1. Who? 2. Is that Ric Ocasek? Being a cool guy, D did indeed know his 80's music and asked "Is that Ric Ocasek?" I really didn't have time to get into it with him but I heard myself going off on a brief diatribe of "No, that's Todd Rundgren fronting them now, since Ric doesn't tour." (honest, I left it at that one sentence when, if I'd had an adult beverage for lunch I normally would've gone into a 10 minute monologue about the virtues of Mr. Rundgren, but I said my one sentence and left it at there.)

But oh no. D followed me into the file room and started spouting "What's the point?" "I mean, why do these old guys...."

Like the girl in "Paradise by the Dashboard Lights" I reeled around as if to say "STOP RIGHT THERE."

I admit, I did have to lower my reading specs (uh-huh - what of it?) to say "Look - love ya babe, but don't EVER say anything negative about a man who I call Todd the God." I may have even shaken my finger at him. I don't remember. Apparently I forgot to take my Aricept today.

What happened next was priceless. D turned on his sneakered heels, mumbled something about "I guess I could be wrong..."

Score: CruiserMel - one. D - zero. Touche'.

*I have no idea why blogger decided to put paragraph breaks wherever and whenever they wanted to in this post. grrrrr.*

Finding A Hitchin' Post Can Be A Bitch

I've been slacking off lately, haven't I? It's another one of those times where I just can't find my muse. I've looked everywhere, honestly. I've looked under the bed, behind the bookcase, even in the dryer and it seems my mojo has just left the building or taken a vacation.

Lucky muse.

But in an effort to bring you the latest in late-breaking news, this little gem popped up this evening on Yahoo News. Maybe you can forgive me for being lazy since this item does sort of stay in the same genre as Buddy The Donkey. Hey, gimme a break.

BERLIN - An early-morning German bank customer had a bit of a shock when he found a horse already in line at the automatic teller machine in front of him. It seems the horse's owner, identified only as Wolfgang H., had a bit too much to drink the night before and decided to sleep it off inside the bank's heated foyer, police said Tuesday.

The 40-year-old machinist told Bild newspaper he had had "a few beers" with a friend in Wiesenburg, southwest of Berlin, and decided to hit the hay in the bank on his way home.

"It was late, it was already dark and cold," he was quoted as saying.

Confronted with the lack of a hitching-post, he brought the 6-year-old horse, named Sammy, in along with him.

When a customer came across the horse and sleeping rider in the bank at 4:15 a.m. Monday, he called police, who then came and woke the owner up and sent him on his way.

No charges were filed, but there might be some cleanup needed: Apparently Sammy made his own after-hours deposit on the carpet.

Rest assured, dear reader(s?), something whacky is bound to happen to CruiserMel. I'm due.

Jackass

Donkey Has His Day In Court

Dallas: Buddy was at the center of neighbors' dispute
08:38 PM CDT on Wednesday, April 18, 2007
By MICHAEL GRABELL / The Dallas Morning Newsmgrabell@dallasnews.com

The star witness paced outside the courthouse Wednesday, breathing hard, his head down, an American flag bandanna around his neck.

He said nothing to the media swarming around him. He just twitched his huge ears and swatted flies with his tail.

People had accused him of all sorts of things: He was loud. He was aggressive.

He smelled bad, too.

He was there to show the men and woman of the jury that he was none of those things.

"Call your first witness," Judge Steven Seider said.

"Your honor, we call Buddy," attorney Jeff Sandberg replied. "The donkey."

With that, Buddy the donkey came clip-clopping down the black-and-white tile hallway of the North Dallas Government Center, where two neighbors were fighting about his presence in a back yard just west of Preston Hollow.

"Bringing a jackass into the courtroom? Don't y'all see enough of them?" an onlooker asked.

As he got to the courtroom, the 3-year-old, 300-pound donkey paused. But with a quick shove from his owner and a tug on his red rope, Buddy walked slowly to the bench. He stared at the jury.

For several minutes, Buddy held his own. He remained calm. He was polite. He didn't crack under cross-examination and confess. If he had to go, he held it in.

And when defense attorneys challenged whether he was in fact the real donkey in question, he didn't blink an eye.

"Your honor, I have no questions," Mr. Sandberg said.

"Nothing from me, your honor," said defense attorney Quinn Chandler.

"The witness is excused," Judge Seider said. Buddy went outside. The proceedings continued.

According to the defendant, oilman John Cantrell, his neighbor – high-profile attorney Gregory Shamoun – started a shoving match with him in March 2006 after he complained to the city about a storage shed Mr. Shamoun was building.

To retaliate, Mr. Shamoun brought Buddy from his ranch in Midlothian to the back yard of his 5,300-square-foot stone-veneer home, he said.

"They're noisy," Mr. Cantrell testified. "They bray a lot any time day or night. You never know when they're going to cut loose."

There was also the manure. "It appeared that it was scraped up and piled on the fence line between his property and mine," he said.

Mr. Shamoun denied that. "One of my heifers had twins," he testified. "When a heifer has twins, when that happens, the second calf will usually die because the mama doesn't have enough milk."

So he had to bottle-feed the calf named Lucy – four times a day.

Buddy – who is used on the ranch to scare off coyotes – came along to serve as a surrogate mother so that Lucy wouldn't have issues when she was old enough to return to the herd. The land is large enough that the city allows certain animals not allowed elsewhere.

"As far as the poop, yeah, they're going to poop," Mr. Shamoun said, adding that his ranch hand cleaned it up three times a week. "It wasn't stacked up next to my fence line."

Mr. Shamoun sued Mr. Cantrell for assault. Mr. Cantrell countersued him for being a nuisance.
The trial lasted three hours. But as the jury went to deliberate, the neighbors settled their dispute.

Mr. Shamoun agreed to buy part of Mr. Cantrell's property. And Mr. Cantrell agreed to withdraw his complaint with the city.

As for the donkey, he can come any time he wants. "The donkey has visiting privileges," Mr. Cantrell said. "I love animals."

Buddy left the courtroom with his head held high.

"Well, you've had your day in court," said his handler, Etienne Grimmett. "Let's go get some coyotes."

....And you know what else? I actually know one of the three jackasses in this story.

CruiserMel: Meme Stealer

I stole this from Just Tug. Yeah, I'm being lazy on this rainy day in Dallas.

Use one word or a phrase for everything…
1. Yourself: strong, resillient, sensitive, good-natured
2. Your family: formal
3. Your hair: has to be blow-dried or heads will roll
4. Your Mother: sweet, frail
5. Your Father: wisest person I'll ever know
6. Your favorite item: iPod and speaker system for kitchen dancing
7. Your dream last night: did I sleep?
8. Your favorite drink: Weller (bourbon) & diet Coke
9. Your dream home: is a clean home (talk about dreaming!)
10. The room you are in: kitchen
11. Your ex: was a wuss
12. Your fear: criminals
13. Where you want to be in ten years: happy and in love
14. Who you hung out with last night: CruiserDog and a Grey's Anatomy dvd
15. What you’re not: a rock star, yet
16. Your best friend(s): E, Merv, L, K, CE, S, B
17. One of your wish list items: maid service
18. Your gender: female
19. The last thing you did: franchise tax form for my neighborhood association
20. What you are wearing: Yogi Bear sleep pants and a tshirt
21. Your favorite weather: warm, preferably with a light Caribbean breeze
22. Your favorite book: "The Pilot's Wife" by Anita Shreve or "The Shining" by Stephen King
23. Last thing you ate: carrots and Ranch dressing
24. Your life: *sigh*
25. Your mood: quiet, sleepy
26. The last person you talked to on the phone: credit card customer service guy
27. Who you are thinking about right now: T
28. Your best friend(s): wasn't this #16?
29. Your car: needs washing
30. What you’re doing at the moment: laundry and watching tv
31. Your summer: concerts baby!!!!
32. Your relationship status: are you kidding?
33. What’s on TV: Larry King
34. The weather: rainy, dreary
35. The last time you laughed: this evening at Sanjaya's hair

Now, I'm tagging all of y'all - you can pick any or all of the phrases and apply to yourself. Come on, we might all learn sumpin.

I Could Really Go Off On A Rant Here

You would have to be living under a rock to not be aware of the awful tragedy that occurred today on the campus of Virginia Tech. Some nutball shot up the place and ended some promising lives. And ended his own eff'd up life.

This just gets all over me like a cheap suit. I'm outraged! I'm furious! But you don't see me shooting up the place.

If you're bent on offing yourself or are relatively sure that once you've done your deed that a police officer will see to it that you are issued instant justice, just off yourself and be done with it. Don't front off and take others with you!

Bastard.

Post-Op Pics

CruiserMel, blogger, a woman barely able to move her elbow following many cross-country treks in search of rock and roll and cute boys. Gentlemen, we can rebuild her, we have the technology. We have the capability to make the world's first bionic blogger, or at least one who can schlep her own luggage. CruiserMel will be that woman. Better than she was before. Better. Stronger. Faster. Funnier?


Yes, o ye faithful - I am making good on my promise to reveal photo documentation of my recent radial nerve release surgery. These pics are not for the very squeamish. Nay, not even really for the not-so-squeamish.


But you asked for it and ye shall receive. Here ya go, you sickos.

Here is my pre-op freckled and un-swollen elbow 8 days ago.....before Dr. McHottie got his lusty hands on me.

This photo shows what I've had to look at for the past 7 days. And it's been a miserable existence. Not being able to bend at the elbow has really cut into my drinking ability. Or maybe it's just the Vicodin that cut into my alcoholism. We may never know.

This is the foam cube thingy I have shared my bed with for the past 7 nights. We've grown quite fond of one another. He's squishy and snuggly and we can't keep our hands off of eachother. But we don't take it out in public. We're modest that way.

How'd this get in here? Oh yeah, I needed a cute boy to look at. Maybe you do, too since the ugliest of ugly is fast approaching.

And here's what Dr. McHottie did to me. Oh, the Versed was divine, but if I find out his home address, he's got some 'splainin' to do. My modeling career is over.

And that ladies and gentlemen, is what you've been clamoring for. Seriously, be careful what you wish for next time. I have a digital camera and I'm not afraid to use it.

Signed,

The Bionic Blogger

Twilight Sleep

hiya kiddos, it's me, the one-armed doped-up slug. please forgive the lack of proper spelling and punctuation, but typing was taught to me using both hands, not one, and old habits die hard. i know you asked for before and after pics, but since my arm is masked by a cast of some sort right now, it's rather dull. wouldn't you rather wait for the unveiling (and thus the gore)?

thought so.

let me tell you something.....gather 'round.....versed. (prounced ver-sed') versed is one of man's greatest inventions in the world of medicine. and my anesthesiologist, chris? he's the second greatest invention in the world of medicine. i love that man. i love him so much that i announced it to at least five nurses and doctors as they wheeled me into recovery wednesday, but only after i professed that my surgeon is the hottest doctor in the world - to his face. he said he would be sure to tell his wife, in case she didn't already know. honestly, he beats dr. mcdreamy hands down. did i mention that versed should be used to get info out of terrorists? it's that god. i mean good. hee.

unfortunately, they didn't send versed home with me. or chris or dr. mchottie, either. just vicodin, methocarbamol, and ketorolac. my new friends. they tend to make me throw up, but they've caused me to lose 6 pounds since tuesday, so they're allowed to stay.

the funniest part is this cube of foam rubber that i have to weave my arm through to keep my arm elevated. it reminds me of those robot people in the "i want my mtv" video from the 80's. it's huge and it laughs at me when i have to go to the bathroom. too bad there's no video for that because it should be on television, i'm sure. i'll try to get someone to take a picture of it (the cube) and post next week. it's just too hard to describe.

must sign off for now - time for a pill or two. heh.

oh, before i go - a big ole thanks to all of you who have been nice enough to drop by my little blog and give me tips on painkillers and/or your well-wishes. lucky for you, i'm not on versed right now because i'd profess your hotness in public for certain.

wait, you'd like that, wouldn't you?

thought so.

But What If I'm Not Coherent Enough To See Sanjaya Ousted?

Hiya folks. It's Tuesday night and I'm looking at my elbow with a wistful, longing look. My flawless, but freckled skin will be swollen and probably black & blue this time tomorrow night.

Yup, CruiserMel is going under the knife tomorrow. And I'm a little uneasy because they said they don't plan on putting me under. Dammit. Oh, he says he's going to make me "feel funny and talk even funnier," but seriously - I have to stay alert?

WTF?

I'm being punished for letting my tennis elbow go on wayyyyy too long back in 2004. Back then, I did the physical therapy route (and had a ferocious crush on my therapist - is that normal?), did two rounds of steroid shots in the joint, but eventually had some surgery to fix the problem. They must have used chopsticks to do it, because all I had to show for it was two little scars that look like cigarette burns.

Then this year, perhaps flared up by my cross-country pursuit of rock & roll and thus schlepping luggage around, I found myself back in the doctor's office for yet another steroid shot. Yeah, it worked - for a whole 10 days.

After more tests and my own griping about "but it hurts!" they realized that it wasn't the original tendonitis (tennis elbow) that was giving me fits, but a pinched nerve. They won't use the chopsticks this time - oh no, they're using ginzu knives (maybe I'm making that part up...). Either way, my pretty little elbow will be scarred for life.

See? I told you it hurt!

So - I will not eat nor drink anything after midnight tonight. Not even bourbon or Triscuits. I will roll out of bed in the A and head for the hospital where I will be poked, prodded, and hacked away at in a region of my body that has given me grief for way too long. I will be sent home with an array of pain-killers which will probably spawn a creative streak never before seen, yet I won't be able to do a thing about it.

Because, in typical CruiserMel style, I didn't ask some really important questions like: How long before I can blog again? How will this affect my "art?" What, no blogging??????

So, kiddies, I will do my very best to give you a report as soon as I can - but it might be one-handed - and thus in code. I hope y'all don't forget about me. I certainly won't forget about you! (except while I'm on pain-killers)

Please keep checking back, pweeze? I promise something by the weekend - if only the before and after photos.

Stay tuned!