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Dallas, Texas, United States

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

They Pulled The Tile Floor Out From Under Me!

Change = Good
Easy and convenient? Not so much.

File this under This Can't Be Good, Can It?

My tried and true grocery store has buckled under pressure. I will always hold my Kroger store close to my heart, but they are on shaky ground right now. Lucky for them, I can't tolerate the other two closest stores.

It took me a good three years to get to know the exact layout of the Kroger. I could actually make out my grocery list by the geographical layout. Produce, meats, deli, pharmacy to the left. Dairy, beer, junk food, cokes to the right. Frozen pizza, canned veggies, T.P., greeting cards, etc were somewhere in between. I could literally do a whole week of shopping in 15 minutes if I had to do so. But I rarely did the "grocery sprint" because I love to shop at the Kroger. It's actually a pleasant experience for me. There's something about knocking items off a list that just feels good.

I entered the store last night after work for a few items. Oregano, Kleenex, Diet Cokes, pickles. Should've been a 7 minute trip at most.

WTF? I walked inside and had to actually look around for something that said "Kroger" to be sure I was where I intended. Yup - there's a label for Kroger soda. But something was way different. The big bad wolf had come in and blown down my Kroger, eaten my porridge and slept in my bed!

The floor was different. The aisles were scooted into weird formations. And who puts the pharmacy to the right instead of the left? There is an employee designated to help you choose which gourmet cheese to serve with your wine. Can you say olive bar? I could feel my temples throbbing. This was purely a reaction to the other two stores in the area going urban and upscale. Succumbing to peer pressure. Hmph.

To make matters worse, they didn't close the store for a couple of weeks to do the renovations. Nooooo, they have stayed open and seriously inconvenienced us by moving merchandise to the most illogical places possible. Wines by the health & diet foods. Whaaaaaa?

Bottom line is that a person who has worked 8 hours must now weave up and down every single aisle to find their items. And you know where this is headed. I'm tired, cranky, I need to piddle and there's the one item I absolutely do not need: Zapp's Sea Salt & Cracked Pepper potato chips. DAMMIT, why are they sold in such a small bag? I need at least 2 of these to make it worth the trip. And, oh yeah - Betty Crocker pasta salad mix. And, oh yeah - I really should pick up a new lipstick. And, oh yeah - soy milk. (I've already got a carton that doesn't expire for 3 more weeks, but that's beside the point.) And, oh yeah - cereal bars. And the pickle aisle? My goodness, you need a graduate degree to decipher the roughly 100 types and brands. Where are the just plain ole pickles?

By the time I was checking out, I had gone from 4 items needed to 17. And it took me 50 minutes.

Kroger - you're evil. I can barely wait to go back.


Sgt said...

"Oregano, Kleenex, Diet Cokes, pickles". Sounds like a real party!

Guess their redesign was successful. They found a way to break down your will power and convince you that you needed another 13 items.

I hate grocery stores!

Dezdmona said...

ROTFLMAO...I love my Kroger..but I don't live in an "upscale" hood, so they aren't likely to retrofit it.

However, I do have two Mexican markets, a Wal-Mart Grocery, a Super Target, and two Tom Thumbs within 5 miles of me (no doubt I missed one), and the 7-11 still has the cheapest Milk in town.

They recently closed the Albertson's (which was the only other grocery besides the Kroger that I really ever shopped at)...ya think we've got enough grocery options here in our little cross cultural corner of the world?
*throws up hands*